“Why are you starting a blog?”

Good question.

There are already umpteen million out there. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the sheer number of opinions on any given subject.

I am starting this blog because I lived for too many years in personal bondage by decisions I made and words that came flying out of my mouth that left me wondering why I can’t remember that even a fool looks wise when she keeps her mouth shut.

This isn’t about my perfect little life or the amazing decisions I have made as a mother and wife. I don’t have a perfect life, and I honestly get a little tired of having to apologize to my husband for yet another thoughtless comment.

This is about understanding what had to be laid at the feet of Jesus and left there. It is possible to stop beating yourself up and refusing to accept His forgiveness. His wipe the slate clean and start all over forgiveness. It CAN be done, and you CAN stop believing the lie that it’s not possible.

You have to. If not, why did Jesus die for us?

I was born into a church going family. At the age of twelve, I stood up front clutching my shiny new Bible, hair still dripping from my baptism. I believed. I really believed that Jesus was who He said He was. Then I tucked it neatly away in the back of my mind and chose to live the way I wanted to. Why not? I’m saved right?

He was in the back of my mind when I rebelled as a teenager.

He was in the back of my mind when I dropped out of high school.

He was in the back of my mind when I found comfort in the arms of numerous guys in college.

And He was in the back of my mind when I left my first husband.

I thought of the Lord often, but I never let Him pierce my heart. I apologized and moved on. Sorry Lord, I messed up again.

It was a song by Mandisa that God used to unlock the door. Every day for the past few years, I have developed more understanding about the relationship God intended.

The relationship, not the religion.

He’s alive and wants us to seek Him. He wants us to know Him personally, lay our burdens at His feet, trust Him to work in our lives and worship Him. He expects us to accept His forgiveness, turn away from the choices He knows will destroy us and then, here’s the hard part…

Believe it.

Live like you believe it. It can be hard. If you hang in there you will begin to see how God will take care of you. Then you will look back one day and realize you don’t know how you ever tried to live life without Him.

That is why I’m starting a blog. It devastates me to see women young and old who constantly compare themselves to others, think of everything they have done that can’t be forgiven and then declare themselves unworthy.

I am not an expert. I do not have all the answers, and at times I am just flat out wrong.

Ultimately, I had to recognize that each day we have to battle the enemy and cling to the promises God gave us in His Word.

God will show you that He cares about everything that affects you. Always remember that you are worth it. You were handcrafted by God Himself, and He waits for you to call out to Him.

When will you decide to stop striving on your own and ask God to take control?