I was furious. As I looked at the flashing lights in my rear view mirror, I couldn’t believe I was being pulled over. Often, I would look at drivers pulled over and think, Uh huh. You should have been paying attention. Now I was the one looking at the huge, black SUV in my mirror as other drivers sped past thankful they weren’t me.

After the officer issued my handheld device ticket, I pulled into a parking lot and fumed at my husband. I was angry at the officer for showing no mercy to a car that was clearly from out of town and didn’t know that the law prohibited using my phone as a GPS (and yes, I am aware that ignorance of the law is no excuse). I was angry at my husband for trying to espouse wisdom when I was in no mood to hear it, but mostly I was angry with myself.

In truth, the officer was doing his job, my husband was right, and the anger I directed toward myself was due to a conviction from the Holy Spirit that I had ignored. He was now getting my attention in a way He knew would stop me in my tracks. I have a tendency to try to control everything around me.

Everything.

Prior to this, I knew I was supposed to let go of control. I ignored it and was now suffering the consequences. I needed to start by turning over the keys to my husband when we are together. When Brian drives I grip the door handle like I’m at the top of a twelve story roller coaster, and I’ll soon need a new floor mat to replace the one I have worn out from my imaginary brake. When I grip that handle and pump that brake, it just makes him nervous, which then makes me nervous. It’s a never ending cycle that leaves us both tied up in knots.

The crazy part is that Brian is a good driver. He is not reckless or careless. I can’t tell you the number of times I have reminded grandpa that the speed limit is five miles above the speed he is driving. I have nothing to be afraid of when I ride with him. What’s my problem?

Control.

I couldn’t tell Brian he should have driven because I would have strong armed him and told him no. I would have insisted on driving in his hometown, on his turf; where he does not need a GPS. If I had relinquished control when I first felt that conviction in my heart, I would still be ticketless today. The beauty of the situation though is that God cares enough about me to ensure I got that ticket. Of course I don’t want a violation on my record, but the freedom I found in laying that control at the Master’s feet is worth it.

I have since turned the keys over to Brian when we go places together. I did try to drive once under the guise of letting him decide, but I was quickly reminded that was not what I was told to do. If you are in this position at some point, let me assure you that you can do it. I find it is much easier to hide behind sunglasses and close my eyes, but hey, I’m obedient and Brian can’t see me. Everyone is happy.