Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. -Hebrews 10:23 (ESV)

I slid my phone across the table for my husband to see the screen. There was a job opening where I had worked prior to staying home with my daughter, and it was essentially the same position I had during that time.  I started looking for a job after writing the post  Living Like Leon. I was inspired by him, and I was still riding that wave. It was providential. I had to apply.

I made it through the first round of interviews, praying for God’s will the entire time. Then I got a call about setting up a second interview. From what I could tell, I was one of two final candidates. The door was swinging open wide, and I was all packed and ready to walk through it.

The day after my second interview, I looked out over the pond at a local park and fought back tears as I was told they decided to offer the position to the other candidate. He said I was just nudged out, and the decision was close. When you are on the receiving end of a call like this, it doesn’t matter how “close” it was. I could think only one thing. Why did the path seem so straight and clear if this was to be the outcome?

Many times in life, I have felt like I was standing at the end of a long hallway lined with closed doors. I would envision myself proceeding down the hall, reaching for each door, only to find them all locked.

We are told that when one door closes, God opens another. As true as I believe that to be, it is in the hallway that confusion sets in, filling us with doubt and causing us to question whether or not God has a purpose for us. We ask Him if He sees us, and if He cares at all. Don’t you see my empty bank account? Haven’t You promised to take care of your children? Will I ever find my way out of this desert?

As fear threatened to set in, I looked back at the last three years of my life. Then the last forty-two years of my life. Then all of recorded history. I saw a pattern of faithfulness and a perfect track record set by a perfect God. He is not in the business of giving us what we want so that we will be satisfied. Not when He knows there is much more that will fulfill us beyond what we could have possibly imagined. Even if it doesn’t look like we imagined.

He cannot fill us if we lack faith, and that is why I am writing this now. I do not know why it all seemed providential and perfect, only to fall to pieces at the eleventh hour. I do not know why I am at a complete loss about which path to pursue next. I do know that I must have faith and hope in a mighty God. I believe that it is not just hindsight that is 20/20. I believe that foresight can also be 20/20 in the sense that although the future has not yet been revealed,  we can trust  and have hope in the One who holds it.

It is this hope that can invigorate us and keep us pursuing His best for our lives. It is this hope that can allow us to feel secure in an insecure world. This isn’t like tossing a coin in a fountain and wishing for the best hope, this is I can do all things through God who strengthens me hope.

Life rarely looks like we want it to, or works out like we expect it to. The question is not whether or not disappointment will come, the question is where we will turn when it does.

This is why you must give it up sister.

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