And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. -Hebrews 11:6

Blogging is very hard. There are bursts of inspiration, followed by a rapid succession of clicks of the delete key, followed by more inspiration, followed by the fingernail-biting-breath-holding moments of proofreading by my spouse, followed by a critique of my spouse’s critique, followed by more editing, uploading, and picture finding, all while wondering what in the world I’m doing.

Though I have grown more comfortable bearing my soul about the past, the present is not as easy. I suppose it is easier to be a soul bearer when you realize some of the massive missteps of your past will never be repeated, but there are every day struggles that make me stumble and sometimes fall flat on my face. It is often at this point that I begin to think I can’t do this. Some days I don’t even feel qualified to clean a hamster cage. After all, I keep messing it all up, and I cannot seem to get everything to fall into place at the same time.

Why am I telling you this? I never want anyone to believe that I have it all together. Because I don’t. I never will. Which is why I desperately cling to the One who does.

This morning I woke at 4:30 in a panic. My left ear was ringing, and I despise that. So, I do what I always do when I’m in a panic. I start sweating even though the thermostat only registers sixty-six degrees, and I hurl the covers off in a huff, begging God for the stress ringing to stop.

I am so stressed out, but ironically, I know it is the stress that has caused the ringing in the first place. Too much change in a short period of time. Usually I am caught off guard by big changes, and it takes me months to realize why things feel like they are falling apart. This time I see the changes coming, and I still feel crazed.

I love the apostle Peter. Maybe it is because he just seems so very real in Scripture, and so many of his struggles and growth are evident as he followed Jesus throughout His earthly ministry. I can relate to Peter’s impulsive ways that often left him with the consequences of having said something inappropriate, and most of all, I can relate to his lack of faith.

Here was a man who had direct access to the Messiah, and still he struggled with his faith. Still he struggled with saying the right thing and having the right heart. Peter was the leader among the apostles, but often he did not act like it. And then there was Pentecost.

Having denied Christ three times, Peter could have folded up his discipleship shop and headed back to the Sea of Galilee to do what he knew so well. But Peter was no longer a fisherman. He was now a fisher of men, and he chose to receive the forgiveness Christ had to offer and step up to the plate at Pentecost.

With all eyes on him, and filled with the Holy Spirit, Peter began to fulfill his destiny. He stepped forward and preached a sermon that likely had every hair standing on end, and every eye wide with disbelief. Isn’t this Peter? Isn’t this the guy that told us he didn’t know the very man he is now claiming is God?

About 3,000 people became believers that day. All because Peter embraced the strength of the Holy Spirit and refused to believe that his stumbles were a permanent indication of his usefulness to God.

God does have a plan for your life, but you have to believe Him. Most likely, you will not get an entire blueprint all at once, but just keep putting one foot in front of the other and He will unfold it. If you fall, clean the wound, get a band-aid and move on. Just keep going and keep the faith. Give it up sister.