After completing a recent spiritual gifts test, I bounded down the stairs to share my results with my husband. He looked at me and quipped, “I’m guessing you scored poorly in mercy.”

Why yes thank you, I did. How could you possibly know?

It was not the first spiritual gifts test I had ever taken, but it had been such a long time, and there was much I could not remember. The last time I took the test, I focused only on the strengths. This time it was the weaknesses that glared at me.

And I learned that I can be a harsh truth teller.

The test defined the gift of mercy as, “The special ability to aid the suffering or undeserving, and to spare them from punishment or penalties justly deserved.” I scored a 4 out of a possible 24. The only area lower was help and service.

Apparently, if you are stranded with a flat tire, I will not only refuse to help you, I will call you careless for running over the nail that flattened it.

I am very black and white. When I was living a reckless existence displeasing to the Lord, I knew it. I didn’t try to justify it as acceptable, I just didn’t care. When I see hypocrisy, unjust acts, or cruelty, I react with a decisive opinion of quick condemnation.

Fortunately for us, Jesus does not.

When we look at ourselves, we often want to skip the hard truth in scripture and jump straight to the mercy and grace. Truth is hard to face because it can expose the sin in our lives and requires us to acknowledge that we may have to change.

The apostle Peter discovered this when Paul confronted him In Galatians 2:11-13 about Peter’s unwillingness to eat with the gentiles. Peter had succumbed to fear of criticism by those who insisted circumcision was necessary. Because of this fear, he then refused to eat with the gentiles. As a fellow believer, it was Paul’s responsibility to expose Peter’s hypocrisy. It was Paul’s responsibility to tell the truth.

When we look at others, we often want to skip the grace and mercy and jump straight to truth when we see hypocrisy and other reprehensible actions. It is so easy to see the faults in others and grab the nearest megaphone to inform anyone who will listen (one look at social media is evidence of this).

As Jesus traveled through the town of Samaria in John 4, He met a woman at the well. She had been married five times and was now living with another man. She was amazed that Jesus spoke with her because Jews did not associate with Samaritans. Not only was He willing to associate with a Samaritan, but He was willing to associate with this Samaritan, an outcast among outcasts. He ministered to her and revealed Himself to her as the Messiah. Jesus illustrated a beautiful picture of grace. The truth was there, He just revealed it gently.

The Bible is absolute truth. God’s Word is unchanging, and what was applicable two thousand years ago, still stands today. Along with this truth is the clear message of grace. Jesus is the most beautiful representation of truth and grace the world has ever seen.

We cannot give others an abundance of truth without grace, and we cannot give an abundance of grace without truth. Both are essential.

What about your life? Have you asked God to show you where you fall short in your example to others? How can you be a picture of both truth and grace?

“But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”  -Matthew 14:27 NLT

With winds howling and waves crashing over their boat, the weary apostles were terrified. It was the middle of the night and they were far from shore when they saw a figure walking toward them. The apostles did not recognize Jesus initially, thinking He was an apparition. Jesus immediately reassured them and told them not to fear.

Peter then got out of the boat and started to walk toward Jesus. When he looked around and saw the storm he began to sink. Stepping out of the boat, Peter’s eyes were on the Messiah and he was able to accomplish the impossible. But then he took one look at his surroundings, and he was filled with fear.

I have been part of several small group Bible studies. We choose a study, watch the videos, answer the questions and have a wonderful time. So I wasn’t alarmed when I felt that the Lord was leading me to host a Bible study for my neighborhood. Granted, I was planning to invite anyone who wanted to come including women I don’t know, but I love meeting new people.

And then He told me to write it. What? No thanks Lord. There are plenty of amazing Bible studies to choose from by women who have studied the Word for years. Besides, I have no idea what I would write about. Lord, I hate to tell you this, but you have the wrong girl.

He had been preparing me. I have been fascinated by Peter for several months. I had no idea God’s intention was to take that interest a step further and place it on my heart to write a Bible study about this most beloved disciple.

Saying it out loud means having to follow through. Following through sends shivers of panic down my spine. I keep thinking I cannot do this. I am not a Bible scholar. Despite my greatest fear, I can only hear Him saying one thing.

Get out of the boat and keep your eyes on Me.

We all want to stay where we are comfortable. Whether that is taking a chance and acting out in faith, or slowing down to take time with the Lord, anything that deviates from our norm can be frightening.

Apathy does not grow us. It does not mold us into who we are meant to be. Apathy robs us of God’s intended joy and the plans He has in place for our lives. The only thing that scares me more than writing this study is the idea that God would find me unwilling to serve. I do not want to be passed over because I would not answer His call.

So I now have less than six weeks to prepare for a six week study. Thankfully, when God calls us, He equips us, and I can assure you I need a lot of equipping. The bottom line is that at the end of my life I want to look back and see where God used me because I got out of the boat.

Peter did not start sinking until he took his eyes off the one who made walking on water possible. I feel myself sinking when I let my mind go to all the places of fear I have typically let overwhelm me. This time I am going to trust Him to the end of the task. I am going to keep my eyes on Jesus.

Will you?

Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Matthew- 14:31 ESV

I waited until the last possible moment to turn in my resignation. After fifteen years of teaching, I was actually quitting to stay home with my daughter. I was terrified but exhilarated. In a down economy I had job security, and I was giving it up with no guarantee of the future. But at least I would now have plenty of time to argue with my preschooler about why that shirt looks hideous with those pants nurture my child into the woman she is meant to be.

For over two years now, God has been a faithful provider with countless side jobs to supplement our income.  Now most of it has come to a screeching halt, and I have caught myself looking up and asking God why He would bring us this far for it all to come to an end now.

After seeing Jesus walk on water, Peter stepped out of the boat in faith to go to Him, but the wind distracted Peter and he was overcome with fear. Instantly he began to sink. Like the apostle Peter, as long as I look at Jesus I am fine. The moment I take my eyes off Him, the water begins to swallow me as I am overcome by all the problems I am powerless to solve.

When I am overcome by fear, I look back and the prayer He answered last summer in dramatic fashion. A minor exchange with the woman God used to set me free showed me He cares about even the smallest request.

As I settled into my seat at the Proverbs 31 Ministries She Speaks conference, the girl next to me leaned over and said, “That’s Mandisa three rows directly in front of you.” My heart jumped. It was Mandisa’s song Say Goodbye that struck a chord with me over two years ago.

All I had asked for was an email address to thank her. Instead, God placed Mandisa three rows in front of me at a conference of over seven hundred women, in the same session she was attending, with what looked to me like over two hundred chairs in the room. Only God.

I will spare you the details of the embarrassing spectacle I made of myself as I tried to find the words, but let’s just say I caught a glimpse of the look on her assistant’s face out of the corner of my eye, and I don’t remember the last time I saw someone look that uncomfortable for me. Mandisa was extremely gracious, and I left wowed by God.

Instead of fearing the unknown, I am going to thank God for providing even though I do not see the answer yet. I do not know how He will answer, but He will answer. That is faith, and it is brand new to me. It is being certain of what is unseen, even when the obstacle appears insurmountable. Faith is also a verb. It requires action on our part to believe the promises God has given us in the Bible.

Peter’s name was changed by Jesus Himself. Given the name Simon at birth, Jesus changed it to Peter, which means rock. Jesus moved Peter from a man ruled by doubt and fear to the man who would boldly proclaim the gospel which would eventually cost him his life. If He can do that, He can meet the need of my mortgage payment.

Will you show God you trust Him to provide by thanking Him before you see His answers?

It was not my intention to write an additional post about the tragedy that occurred this week. I received a comment though that I felt had to be addressed because it is the question that we have all asked in times like this.

How can this kind of thing happen to innocent, kind, and amazing people?

In the beginning we were not meant to die. This changed because sin entered the world through man’s disobedience, and it will remain until Christ returns to set things right permanently. What sets Christianity apart from every other religion in the world is that we serve a living Savior who knows human suffering. Every emotion, every desire, every pain we ever feel, He has felt.

We live in a broken world. God gave us free will because He desires a real relationship with us and He wants us to seek Him. Sadly, that free will often comes with consequences like the one we have experienced in the passing of this sweet mom. In this case, the consequences were not because of her actions, but the actions of the driver of the car.

Since this tragedy occurred, there has been an amazing outpouring of love and glory brought to God. You must always remember that God is good. Many lives are being touched by this, and Meg placed her Savior Jesus at the core of her life. Don’t be deceived by the enemy, because he would have you believe that God is unjust.

We may be willing to thank God when things are going well, but we must also praise Him in the storms of our lives. We will honor the legacy of Meg if we trust God even while we do not understand. His grace is sufficient to cover the gravest of poor choices and deepest pain, and He can bring the greatest good out of this tragedy. He is our hope.

Because Jesus experienced every human emotion, we can trust Him to understand our pain. What sets Him apart from us is that He is also fully God. The only One ever to live without sin, He was uniquely qualified to forgive the sins of those He ministered to while He lived on earth, and He is still qualified while He sits at the right hand of God.

Jesus showed compassion to those others found detestable. He loved every single soul in the world so much that He chose to sacrifice His own life so that we could live in eternity with Him. He gave us the ultimate gift.

When we sin, we create a separation from Him. His sacrifice bridges that gap. We cannot earn salvation; it is a free gift to us through Jesus’ death on the cross. The enemy would have you believe that you are not good enough to be saved or that you are too far gone. To accept that lie is to trivialize what Christ did for us.

Meg saw the grace Jesus offered by believing in Him as her Lord and Savior. She knew it was His gift to her, and in return, she chose to live a life that honored Him. It is His gift to all of us. We only have to say yes. Because Meg said yes, she now runs in the presence of Jesus.

John 3:16 (ESV)

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Like everyone else who has been touched by this, my first question was why? This is a beautiful, Godly mom with sweet young children and a husband she loves. She is so young! Why?

Every moment of every day I have thought of Meg since the tragedy. A precious wife, mother, daughter and follower of Christ; her absence leaves a gaping hole.

She had a sweetness about her that was evident the moment she walked in a room. She was kind and soft spoken, but it was more than that. It took me a while to determine the exact quality that set her apart and made her different. It wasn’t happiness. What Meg exuded went beyond that.

My connection to Meg began with her mother. Pam and I taught together a number of years ago, and every time I saw her at work, the smile on her face radiated. With Pam it is always more than a smile. It is pure joy that emanates from her. Joy that is magnetic. Meg had it too.

The time I spent with Meg in Bible study showed me the depth of her character. She was gentle and thoughtful. She was passionate and insightful. She was full of joy.

I don’t know why it was Meg’s time. I do know that we serve and incredible God that can bring good out of this. Initially, I thought it would be months or years before we could begin to see Him work for good in this. I was wrong. It was immediate. The response to the Meg’s Miles event was overwhelming. Spreading like wildfire, people who have never met Meg are running on the same day to honor her.

Running in honor of the girl who loved her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Running in honor of the girl who never quit.

Meg was a runner who had a goal in mind and kept moving forward. This can be a lesson for us as we move through our lives. We cannot hesitate out of fear of the unknown. We must not waste time and take for granted what we have been given. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that her life touched mine, if only for the briefest time.

You will be missed sweet Meg. You left an indelible mark on the world and an everlasting legacy. A life well lived in such a short time. You were a blessing to all who knew you.

To to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. -2 Corinthians 12:7 ESV

Three times the apostle Paul asked God to remove the thorn from his side. We have no idea what Paul struggled with, but we know that it kept him dependent on God. Over time, Paul accepted this about himself because it was in Paul’s weakness that God’s greatness was magnified.

We all have a thorn. Mine is ADHD.

I dismissed this notion after receiving my diagnosis in college because I thought it wasn’t real and I wasn’t classically “hyper.” After all, I only had a “no crossing zone” perimeter taped off around my desk in one class in high school.

My dealings with ADHD have left a path of destruction far and wide. I quit high school and my first husband. I often intend to do so many things that never get done. I have friends who would describe me as tepid even though they mean more to me than they realize. I can create six million schedules and still not have the discipline to follow one. I am prone to moodiness, and I have one great battle. Anger.

I can go from zero to sixty in less than a second, and as soon as I come unglued, I hang my head in shame. Recently, I rode with my husband and daughter to my grandmother’s funeral and sat white knuckled behind the wheel as I seethed over something my other half said.

Julia, my five year old, yelled from the back, “Stop this madness!” I felt like I had been slapped across the face with a giant wake up call.

Time and time again we are warned how important our words are to others. When spoken in anger or carelessness, they can cut to the core and wreak havoc on those we love. Our words can destroy our witness when our goal should be to show others the love of Christ.

It can be enormously frustrating to realize that you are powerless to stop a debilitating pattern.

But He isn’t powerless.

I may never conquer the overall pattern of ADHD, but through Him, I can overcome the aspects that hinder what God can accomplish through me. I will never again utter the excuse,  “I am who I am.”

On the way home from the funeral, I was talking with Brian when Julia leaned forward, cocked her head to the side, lifted one side of her headphones, and asked if we were arguing. When I assured her we were laughing, she looked at me with relief and said, “I’m glad. That’s better than that madness from the other day.”

My daughter was willing to look beyond my shortcomings in the hope that I could be the mom I am supposed to be for her. When my frustration mounts, I need to remember that God can move me beyond my shortcomings and mold me into the mom He wants me to be for my daughter, the wife He wants me to be for my husband, and the friend He wants me to be to others.

He can mold all of us into ambassadors for His Son despite our thorns. Our thorns can show His magnificence in our weakness.

“Comparison is killer.” I blinked at the premarital counselor, realizing for the first time that comparing my husband to my father would harm my marriage. This thought came back to mind as I stared at my five year old who insisted on fixing her own hair.

For a moment, I glanced around the ice cream shop wondering if anyone was looking at her thinking she looked silly. In reality, I was wondering if anyone was wondering what kind of mother I was for letting her look like that.

The mom of the little girl whose hair was nicely braided? Or the other little girl who matched from head to toe? 

In truth, I was the only one worried about what others thought. No one was going to call the fashion police on me, and if they did, so what? 

We worry too much about what others think. The One you want to please is the One who gave you life. Trying to please others for the sake of fitting in will send you on a never ending roller coaster of disappointment. We should always try to uplift and encourage others, not tear them apart in an effort to justify how we feel about ourselves. 

I have been guilty of this a time or ten. Ask God to show you how He sees you. Ask Him to help you stop making comparisons and assumptions about others.

As we got in the car to leave the ice cream shop, my husband noticed Julia shivering. We left her coat in the store, while I made sure I was all bundled up in mine. When we got home, I discovered she was wearing two different shoes. 

Sometimes you just have to let the kid be a kid.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” –Romans 8:28

When I was a little girl we would go to the beach every summer. I loved to go to the candy store and watch as they made saltwater taffy. I was mesmerized by the stretching of the taffy and the way it was pulled up just as it looked like it was going to sag and touch the counter.

There have been times in my adult life when I have been stretched so far that I felt sure I was going to hit bottom. I have felt pulled, tugged, yanked and stretched beyond what I thought I could bear.

Like the time I was told in my first teaching position that I wasn’t going to get a contract the following year if I did not make huge strides, only to be told later by my boss that she was afraid I would burn out from working so hard to improve.

Or when my doctor sent me for a mammogram because something wasn’t quite right.

Or when I sat in the exam room at the hospital as a team of doctors and medical students examined my daughter to determine if she had a rare, potentially life threatening disease.

The beauty of following Christ is the knowledge that we are not alone when we face challenges that appear beyond all hope. Paul tells us in Romans that God works out all things for the good of those who love Him.

All things.

Not a few things.

Not most things.

All things.

A limitless God who makes a limitless promise. A promise He does not qualify, quantify or justify.

Does this mean we will get exactly what we want, how we want it, when we want it? No.

Does this mean that as believers we will not face adversity and tragedy? No.

It does mean though that God knows what is best for us, He is there for us, and He constantly works in our lives. Adversity is never something we desire, but it stretches us and grows us until we are more Christ like and others can see the beautiful reflection of our Savior.

Nothing is more moving than the person who praises God in the midst of a mighty personal storm.

I am in awe of my husband. He lost a brother and a sister at a young age, and still he has faith. Brian knows real loss. He knows loss that we would call unfair. I marvel at the way he has been able to experience pure joy since that loss.

Brian told me that he had two choices. He could focus on the loss or he could focus on the time God gave him with his brother and sister. He chose the latter. He chose to thank God for who they were, what they meant to him, and the time God gave him with them.

He misses his siblings and knows he will see them again. Knowing this though does not fill the void caused by their absence. It was God who filled it, and gave Brian freedom from a lifetime of grief.

God promises us a season of rest. If you are in the wilderness, wondering if you are going to be stretched beyond what you can bear, remember that just like the taffy, you will not be stretched beyond your limit. Trust that God can bring blessing out of every circumstance in your life.