Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. –Proverbs 3:5

Several years ago I applied for a middle school science technology integrator position in a nearby county. I was finishing my degree in instructional technology, and I had taught middle school science for ten years. It was a done deal. Or so I thought.

Every day I ran to the mailbox to see if my interview card had arrived, and every day I went back into the house totally dejected. I had heard this was one of the tougher positions to fill so I could not understand why I did not at least get an interview.

I ended up with a position in the county I had been teaching in for ten years. I was grateful for the job, but still I wondered why God had “let me down” with the other position.

Several months later I was at a conference where I had the opportunity to speak to the director of the program from the other county. He had never seen my application. I was more frustrated than ever.

The cuts started the following year. The job I had so desperately sought, the one I had allowed to control me, was gone. If I had gotten that position I would have been out of a job. Instead, I was securely employed in a job I loved.

When you are discouraged in your circumstances, remember that God is in control. We don’t have to understand to trust. Do not lean on what you think you know from your limited view. Lean on Him and let Him walk you through it.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”    -Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Dear Julia,

I don’t want you to grow up believing you can be anything you want.

When you were still in my womb, your daddy and I would talk about all the possibilities for your life. Volleyball, golf, track, teacher, doctor…everything parents dream of for their children. I even told you that I believed you can do anything you want in life. That is not true.

I want you to believe that you can do anything God equips you to do. I want you to believe that He has a plan for your life that he had laid out even before you were born. I want you to believe that He created you to be unique, and you are the only one who can fulfill the plan for your life as ordained by Him.

Ironically, you were rather quiet when you were born. That has never been the case since. You are strong willed and opinionated, often trying to blur the lines of authority. I too have this strong will, and I always thought it was a detriment. Later I learned that having a strong will is good…if you use it to honor God.

You cannot imagine the love I have for you. How I watch you when you are sleeping and laugh at the clever things you say. You cannot imagine the pain it causes me when I see that you are hurting or I feel that someone has treated you unfairly.

Even as much as I love you, it cannot compare to the love God has for you. His ways are not our ways. We cannot possibly understand how he loves us, grieves with us, and protects us when we do not realize we need it.

So here dear girl is my simple charge to you. Seek Him. Look first to Him before making any decisions that could impact the rest of your life. Seek counsel from those who have wisdom, but first and foremost, seek Him. Read His Word, pray earnest prayers and then wait. He will answer.

At times His answers will come amazingly fast. At other times you will feel like your hair will turn gray before He answers. Don’t ever believe the lie that you haven’t received an answer because He does not care. He can see the whole picture and His timing is always perfect.

There will be times when His answer is no. This can be so hard when you want something with all of your heart. Rest in the knowledge that His no is not arbitrary. He tells us no because He has a different plan.

There will be times when life will be so difficult you have to concentrate just to breathe, and you will wonder if following God is worth it. I assure you that it is not only worth it, it is the only way to find joy in the midst of your circumstances. Listen to the wise words of Peter in John 6:8, “Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.” Trust that He works all things for His glory and your good.

When I am driving, I can only see as far as the next bend in the road. Houses seem randomly scattered and roads twist and turn. When I am in an airplane, I marvel at the organization beneath me. Everything appears to be so carefully plotted and planned, not random at all. When you get frustrated, remember that your perspective is from the car. God’s perspective is from above. He knows what lies ahead.

Don’t spend your life wishing, striving and guessing. God has given you specific gifts just as He has all of His children. Pray for Him to reveal those gifts to you and His plan for you to use them. I promise you that though you will get frustrated and discouraged at times, His way will give you indescribable joy you didn’t think was possible.

I believe that you are precious and worthy. You can do anything He equips you to do. Seek Him first and let Him lead your path as you watch your life unfold.

Love,

Momma

When a ticket sets you back $193, it’s a good idea to determine if the Lord was trying to divinely inspire you in more than one way. Fortunately, in my case, I got a two for one. My very own blue light special. And yes, I’m very proud of that pun.

We often want to blame God when things do not go our way. We want free will and a free pass. My husband never offered to drive the day I was ticketed. He opened the driver’s side door for me and then climbed in the passenger side. For the briefest of moments I wanted to scold him for not offering to drive in his city, but I was reminded just as quickly that I never would have let it happen. Brian knew this so he did not offer.

Brian has offered to drive before, and I have told him no so many times that he quit. How many times have I refused God to have it my own way and then realized later I should have listened?

Too many to count.

God gave us free will. We can choose to use that free will to glorify Him or serve ourselves. Our human nature tells us to turn our attention inward and make sure we feel happy. Without God in the equation, we will not find the ultimate satisfaction we seek.

We fill the empty spaces in our lives with everything else the world has to offer. For me, that is shopping.  Brian nearly had heart failure when my favorite clothing store sent me a “Come back, we miss you” email once.

If I had asked Brian to drive, he would not have hesitated. He would have gladly taken the keys and chauffeured me around the city.

That’s how our heavenly Father responds to us as well. We need only ask and He will take that burden upon Himself and give us the rest we desperately need. Matthew 11:30 tells us, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” We have to ask. God is a gentleman. He is there for us always, but He wants that invitation. He wants a relationship with us, and He won’t force it upon us. He will discipline us, but if we refuse to listen and constantly strive to leave Him out, we will miss out on the greatest joy we could ever have known.

Give it up sister! If not, you could be sitting on the side of the road with flashing lights in your rearview mirror and people thankful they aren’t you as they whiz by on their uninterrupted way!

I was furious. As I looked at the flashing lights in my rear view mirror, I couldn’t believe I was being pulled over. Often, I would look at drivers pulled over and think, Uh huh. You should have been paying attention. Now I was the one looking at the huge, black SUV in my mirror as other drivers sped past thankful they weren’t me.

After the officer issued my handheld device ticket, I pulled into a parking lot and fumed at my husband. I was angry at the officer for showing no mercy to a car that was clearly from out of town and didn’t know that the law prohibited using my phone as a GPS (and yes, I am aware that ignorance of the law is no excuse). I was angry at my husband for trying to espouse wisdom when I was in no mood to hear it, but mostly I was angry with myself.

In truth, the officer was doing his job, my husband was right, and the anger I directed toward myself was due to a conviction from the Holy Spirit that I had ignored. He was now getting my attention in a way He knew would stop me in my tracks. I have a tendency to try to control everything around me.

Everything.

Prior to this, I knew I was supposed to let go of control. I ignored it and was now suffering the consequences. I needed to start by turning over the keys to my husband when we are together. When Brian drives I grip the door handle like I’m at the top of a twelve story roller coaster, and I’ll soon need a new floor mat to replace the one I have worn out from my imaginary brake. When I grip that handle and pump that brake, it just makes him nervous, which then makes me nervous. It’s a never ending cycle that leaves us both tied up in knots.

The crazy part is that Brian is a good driver. He is not reckless or careless. I can’t tell you the number of times I have reminded grandpa that the speed limit is five miles above the speed he is driving. I have nothing to be afraid of when I ride with him. What’s my problem?

Control.

I couldn’t tell Brian he should have driven because I would have strong armed him and told him no. I would have insisted on driving in his hometown, on his turf; where he does not need a GPS. If I had relinquished control when I first felt that conviction in my heart, I would still be ticketless today. The beauty of the situation though is that God cares enough about me to ensure I got that ticket. Of course I don’t want a violation on my record, but the freedom I found in laying that control at the Master’s feet is worth it.

I have since turned the keys over to Brian when we go places together. I did try to drive once under the guise of letting him decide, but I was quickly reminded that was not what I was told to do. If you are in this position at some point, let me assure you that you can do it. I find it is much easier to hide behind sunglasses and close my eyes, but hey, I’m obedient and Brian can’t see me. Everyone is happy.