“Look! He has placed the land in front of you. Go and occupy it as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you. Don’t be afraid! Don’t be discouraged!” -Deuteronomy 1:21

Without fail, when my five year old starts up a hill on her bike, she stops . When she most needs the momentum to keep going, she puts on the brakes instead and comes to a full stop. This makes the climb up the other side much harder. No matter how many times I tell her to keep pedaling, she ignores me and gives into her fear.

The Israelites had the promised land in their sights. Following God’s command, Moses instructed the Israelites to enter the land of milk and honey. He told them not to be afraid or discouraged. But despite having been delivered out of Egypt through the Red Sea, they still would not place their complete trust in God and follow in obedience. They asked Moses to send scouts. So Moses did. When the scouts returned, they confirmed that the land was what God said it was. They also confirmed that there were giants living within fortified walls.

Joshua and Caleb, two of the twelve sent, trusted God to guide them and provide the continued protection they needed. The others felt that defeat was imminent and refused to move forward and take possession of the very land God had promised them.

As a result of their lack of trust and constant complaining, the Israelites were doomed to wander in the wilderness for forty years until the entire unbelieving generation had died off, and a new generation was ready. Because of their faith, Joshua and Caleb were allowed in as well. In fact, it would be Joshua who would lead them.

I often throw my hands in the air in defeat and proclaim that I am not going another step. I look around at the endless to do list. I can’t get the thoughts to flow on paper. I can’t keep my house from looking like a tornado tore through it. I can’t stop getting angry when I am supposed to react in a kind and compassionate tone. Before long, that to do list becomes an I can’t list. I’m stuck on the hill.

When I was a junior in high school, I stopped on the hill. I marched into the office, placed my books on the counter, and walked out the front door. I quit. My grades were abysmal, and my attitude was worse. From the outside, none of it made sense. I came from a loving home, and I lived in the suburbs. I even had my own car and a golden retriever. Picture perfect.

On the inside I was not so picture perfect. I was plagued by failure and low self-respect. I watched everyone around me succeed and juggle everything so beautifully. I could never get it right. I was such a mess that I had the blessing of my parents to drop out of school. They just wanted me to begin again. I used to wonder how much heartache I would have spared myself if I had continued up the hill.

The Israelites had the momentum of God behind them. When they asked Moses to send scouts instead of trusting God to see them through, they stopped on the hill. Instead of  trusting Him to continue up the other side, they gave into their fear and opened the door for the enemy. When we trust in Jesus, we have the momentum too. The most beautiful part of trusting Jesus is the knowledge that there is no condemnation when we do. He encourages us to continue up the hill, but even if we stop, He is there to give us a push.